i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
