I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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