Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
