i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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