We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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