I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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