I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
