the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
