It's Friday. Sex?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
