Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
