Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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