Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
there is glitter all over my balls
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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