dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
