hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
