is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
