Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
