I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
