I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
