Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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