glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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