Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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