And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
