dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
