We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
