Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
