It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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