You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
