im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
