white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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