he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
