Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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