he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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