He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
one might say we're banned from that church
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
