The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
