guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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