His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
