i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
