You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I bet he comes in French.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
