His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
