I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
40s are totally the cure
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
