This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
