Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
