He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
