I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
