i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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