Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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