so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
