did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize