I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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