Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
