Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
