1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
