Kiss
Puke
the day after is always just damage control
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
